TopTrumps

Stuart "Gibbo" Gibson

Stuart "Gibbo" Gibson was the head instructor at UCL until August 2007, when he moved to Japan to continue the good fight. He has crafted the flabby and lazy students into flabby and lazy kendoka. He is currently 5th time national chapion and 2nd time British Open champion. He was there at the start with Najaf and he will probably be there at the end, as it will be his fault. He is also an avid fan of wheelchair judo and is the founder of the movement to allow Wheelchairers to fight "normies" in the UFC octagon. Gibbo is also responsible for the system of rating your asshole after a decent curry-poo known as "The Gibbo Method". It only has 3 levels, and each is roughly the same magnitude. These are "Flock of Sparrows", "Bullet Wound" and "Japanese Flag".

Stats

  • SIZE: 8
  • POWER: 8
  • STAMINA: 7
  • TECHNIQUE: 7
  • SPEED: 8.5
  • YEARS TRAINED: 7
  • UCL FACTOR: 9.9
  • MAGIC: 105
  • SEME: 0

Current Status

PrisonerOfWar

Weaknesses

  • Has the seme of a worm with a rope, or a corpse. We can't decide which.

Most kote in one jigeiko against:

  • Alex 10
  • Jon 12

Favourite Animal

  • Lion-Pigeons

Favourite Food

  • Beans!
  • Jelly

Tall Tales

  • Gibbo's Legendary Poo Stain Anecdote

Special Abilities

  • Last second cliffhanger kote
  • "Rubbery Kendo" - Fuji Sensei
  • Lap Dance Dance Revolution
  • Toilet Bingo
  • Failing gradings
  • Talking to ewoks
  • Inter Cinema Ballistic Minstrels
  • Drinking Money - running total 40p

Quotes

  • Do you want me to do a lap dance for you?
  • Ride the wild baloney poney
  • Cleft in twain
  • I just had a massive beer-shit. And it hurt.
  • My butt hole is like a bullet wound
  • Don't damage these Top Trumps, I'm saving them for my wife
  • If seme was porn then that grading would have been illegal
  • I had an egg sandwich earlier and now I've got a little Delhi-Belly
  • Ask him for a reach around
  • C-3PO: I do believe they think I am some kind of god. (this is so ridiculously appropriate)
  • Toronto Gosh!
  • Master Luke am chim chimmeny chooo doooooooo!
  • Han Solo Tibilo carbon!
  • Wonderful. We are now a part of the tribe.
  • Joe, Ant, you are both dead men walking.
  • EAT THE BEANS!
  • So there I was going at this 4 inch poo stain with some hot water and toothpaste.
  • I would rather be a cunt who is great at kendo than a nice guy who has nothing.
  • What a load of old budo.
  • My boys! My boys!.... Platonic boys...
  • Why did I drink the cash?
  • I don't like the idea of watching porn with another man
  • Look! Its got a zip on it!
  • I bet cookiemonster's got a cock like half an old truck tyre.
  • Is Japan hot at this time of year then?
  • Your armour smells like my old mans car
  • That was the kendo equivalent of being bogwashed in the school toilets
  • What they need is Charlton Heston with a gun. And a chariot.
  • It looked like someone had fired a blunderbuss filled with minced beef and gravy into it.
  • they actually do come snuffling for my ippon truffles