TopTrumps

Mr Matthew Wake

Matt is another honourary member of UCL, and is currently trying to wrangle my password out of me, but you won't have it I tell you, YOU WON'T HAVE IT! Matt's forehead is fucking massive, and to fit it into the picture I had to reduce it somewhat to the size that you see above. It used to house his colossal brain, but he decided that he was lonely and put a cockatiel in there instead, which has since died. Following the crushing death of Trevor (the cockatiel) Matt has decided to pursue true enlightenment, by moving to Sweden.

Stats

  • SIZE: 9.5
  • POWER: 6.5
  • STAMINA: 1.5
  • TECHNIQUE: 7
  • SPEED: 5
  • YEARS TRAINED: 39
  • UCL FACTOR: 4

Current Status

HonouraryMember

Special Abilities

  • Matt does 1000 suburi everyday. No really, he actually does!
  • Easy Jet frequent flyer miles
  • Professional Gambler - thats true too! Almost.
  • He lives in Sweden. Schmergen.
  • He also lives on the biggest steepest hill on the planet.

Weaknesses

  • The first 999 suburi of the day
  • Real work (he gambles for a living!)

Quotes

  • I didn't notice that you had enhanced my forehead
  • TREEEEEEEEEEEEVVVOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRR!
  • My daughter is walking and talking. I point to a cow and she says, 'moo'. I point to a sheep and she says 'baa'. I point to a frog and she says 'bonjour'. This is the essence of good training.
  • I lead the 2nd Team to humiliating defeat
  • The next person to tell me its a dry cold is getting killed
  • I went to Saskatoon because I wanted to practise with God
  • I think Kendo is like free form Jazz (Gibbo: thats good, because it doesn't appear that you have a tune....)
  • Maybe I shouldn't have used Alan's rum
  • We were screaming expletives out of the window, then my friends got out and it was just me and the driver all the way back to Kilburn.
  • So who are the UCL Eages (Joe: That's us) Oh God no..... can i have a tshirt?