TopTrumps

Matthew Watkinson - or Yang Fan Matt, thats his chinese name

Matt has never actually been to UCL, but loves us all the same, mostly because of these stupid Top Trumps, and constantly recommends us to random people he doesn't know on the internet, so after commissioning a highly respected (piss) artist to conjour up the master piece you see above, Matt recieved his very own top trump. Apart from that, he is a total c@#&, and not worth knowing. He speaks fluent bullshit, and comes from Newcastle. And it only gets worse from there!

Stats

  • SIZE: 2 (he's another wee thin one!)
  • POWER: 2
  • STAMINA: 6
  • TECHNIQUE: 7.5
  • SPEED: 8
  • YEARS TRAINED: 5
  • UCL FACTOR: 1

Current Status

HonouraryMember

Special Abilities

  • Personalised Chinese name
  • Intelligent like a super computer, but can't play chess
  • He currently holds nidan in Surfing, and will try for his ikkyu in skiing this year.

Dislikes

  • fear
  • love
  • emotional weakness

Weaknesses

  • skiing with older ladies, like your mum!
  • girls with big hooters and wonky eyes.

Favourite things

  • Women with "bountiful" chests

Quotes

  • I can't believe you missed out UCL
  • I mainly practise with old guys
  • I'm ashamed to say it, but I can probably have a smoother ride surrounded by bastards than if I were surrounded by dunces.
  • All I have to show for my UCL connection is a tenugui that makes you look like you've been attacked with a lead pipe.
  • And then I woke up o a flat bed truck.
  • I used to gaijin smash my way through ticket barriers all the time.
  • And then I ran over another guy on my surfboard.
  • Never trust a man from Shikoku
  • I want to see some sleeves cut off and fall to the floor
  • That would be a technical error, it would be technically awesome!
  • I got a life time ban from the theme park in Minato Mirai
  • He could get money to let people touch his ginger hair. Special charge for down below
  • Make it clear that I'm not paying though.
  • I also have the most ridiculous sunburn - bright, bright red (so bad it's blistered in places) but with a sharply divided pale strip on he forehead where I was wearing a hat. I haven't met a single person to day who hasn't laughed at me.
  • She rammed a surfboard into my face
  • All I could do was stare at her boobies
  • My arse appears to have staged some kind of recovery although still not in the best shape.

Note from Gibbo:

2 weeks ago in a macdonalds with Matt after keiko, he remarked about the girl behind the counter: "She might not look like much, but I'd like to see whats under her shirt." In Matt's defence, she did have a great rack o lamb. In support of the prosecution, she had a wonky eye and I couldn't tell which way she was looking. Shame on you Matt!